Who's Life Is It Anyway?

"What are we really saying to each other? I want you to change, so I won't have to."
Trudy Sheets

Duncan and I met at the Fairwell Bend Writer's Round Table 26 years ago. (don't blame us, we didn't pick the name)

We first came to know each other through the things we wrote. We made many good friends some of whom still attend this same writer's group. We've met in the homes, which was quite fun, then the college for a time, back to the homes and now we meet at my bookstore, The Bookmark. 7:00 - 9:00 the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month.

Somethimes I think of the different stories shared for critique over the years and the people who have come and gone, and how they have touched my life.

Trudy sometimes read little excerpts from her journals that she had made into quotes and printed up on velum paper and glued to broken stone tiles, with a hook on the back to hang on the wall.

The above quote was the one that really spoke to me. How often we stubbornly cling to our own faults, blindly at times, but find it so easy to see the faults of others? We say; "It would be easier to live with you, or be your friend, if only you wouldn't... or would..." and the lists begin.

We can make ourselve crazy by focusing on what we may think of, or what actually could be, someone else's short comings and want to change them, make them the perfect people to fit our every need.

To bad, so sad, it doesn't work that way.

What you find, what you always find is the other person has needs too.

One of my greatest blessings in this life is my husband, the man who while we were dating, once said, "Why would I want to change you? Or make you quit doing _______ (Fill in the blank with what ever you might love doing, reading, movies, going to church)Those things make you the interesting person you are to me. What's good for you is good for me!" When he said that I knew he was a keeper.

We've been married 25 years now and he still sees my faults and loves me anyway. We like each other. I have a great respect for his integrity, honesty and humor. We have fun together.

So, when you want someone to change to make your life more comfortable, who's life is it anyway?